What happens during Meeting for Worship?

Turning up at Brighton Meeting

These are the purely personal impressions from someone who is not a Quaker, but an attender - someone who goes to the Friends Meeting House in Brighton to share in the 'communion' of the Meeting but who has not yet chosen to become a Quaker.

• Can you just walk in?
• Who goes to Quaker Meeting?
• What happens during a Quaker Meeting?
• What am I supposed to do?
• Is the meeting totally silent?
• What happens next?

I have never formally adopted a religion, although I was brought up in a Church of England family. I have been an attender for over two years now. My wife and I first decided to go at the suggestion of some Quaker friends. We had not been able to identify with the specific nature of the religious teaching we had grown up with and were interested in exploring a more free thinking form of belief which did not involve doctrine or demand conformity. The Meeting House seemed to offer a possible way to do this. So what was our first Meeting like? It was a very friendly experience which we now repeat as often as we can.

Can you just walk in?

Of course you can. As you come through the outer door you will get friendly smiles and someone is there to open the door into the main meeting room. You do not feel that someone is watching out for newcomers, ready to pounce and ask questions!

Who goes to Quaker Meetings?

Sadly, there are some unhelpful and outdated clichés attached to Quakerism. Fortunately, through having Quaker friends we knew that there are no strange mysteries or quirks. They are just friendly normal people! Even so, we were unsure what to expect. First of all, people do not dress up! They wear everyday clothes, seldom is anyone particularly smart. There are people of all ages and types. Of course some are Quakers, but many are attenders like us. Some attenders do go on to become Quakers, others are content long term just to be part of the meeting. People may have a completely different faith but also choose to attend Quaker meetings.

What happens?

As you go in you are struck by the simplicity of the room. There are no ornaments or church-like decorations. There are no distractions. Chairs are arranged in circles around a central table. The table is used later on as somewhere to put notices and leaflets. As you go in, those already there are sitting silently, generally with their eyes closed. You can sit wherever you like, perhaps pick up a copy of the Bible or a Quaker book if you want to. Hopefully, after the time of the start of the Meeting, only one or two latecomers will slip in. Then everything is peaceful and quiet, with the odd cough maybe!

What are we supposed to do?

You are not 'supposed' to do anything! Nothing is pre-planned. As a Quaker meeting is a silent gathering, you are expected to respect that, because this is a shared silence - which can be surprisingly powerful. People who are unused to sitting in silence or who have never tried meditation or relaxation exercises, may feel restless at first with thoughts whirring through their minds. The idea is to empty your mind and be receptive. I am lucky that nowadays I can easily let my mind drift and not worry in what direction my thoughts may run. In the simple serenity of the meeting it is possible to gradually begin to explore feelings, perhaps address a religious or philosphical thought or two. You can dip into the Bible or a book of your own or one borrowed from the Meeting House library if you want to. There is NO agenda, just one hour of shared, silent reflection.

Is the meeting totally silent?

Some meetings are actually completely silent. But normally a few people will, if they feel moved to, stand up and speak briefly. These occasional short addresses come from those who want to share some thought or reflection on life, current events, belief or personal experience. It does not have to be great oratory, just from the heart. There is no dialogue or debate as such. Others may respond later, by adding to what someone has said. But they will not do so controversially or in criticism. You get the feeling that some people find it helpful to share thoughts in this way, knowing that they will be heard sympathetically. It is a form of ministry, but this is not preaching as I understand it. The silence continues until, in due course, a Quaker elder signals that the hour has passed by opening his or her eyes and shaking hands in fellowship with those around them. Everyone (who wants to) shakes hands with a few of the others close by.

What happens next?

There is very little formality to a meeting. After the shaking of hands, visitors from other Quaker groups bring greetings. Newcomers, whether they are attenders or Quakers, are invited to introduce themselves. But they do this only if they want to. Notices are read out about events, meetings to come and issues that affect the group. Then tea and coffee are served Ð a few coins towards the cost are appreciated. People are friendly and someone may introduce themselves to you, if you look as though you feel like socialising. But you will not be pestered in any way. There are books and leaflets on sale with some excellent introductory material. Two Quaker elders who are ready to answer any questions will have been pointed out. There are various opportunities outside the meeting to find out more by joining in discussion groups. Details of these are announced. It is up to you Ð whether to simply attend and share the meeting or whether you want to go further. There is absolutely no pressure or expectation from anybody. Above all it is, quietly ... very simple and friendly.